The Paths of Fate Broken Hero
by sigrun1asatru
Summary: My idea for season 3. Characters dealing with the events in the holy land.
1. Prologue

**AN: My take on season 3. Basically it is the characters dealing with the events in the holy land starting with Robin. **

Prologue

Life is often a strange journey. Sometimes it is unbelievably cruel, other times glorious in its beauty. It twists and turns on its destined course caring little for the people on its path. Rarely does it follow the path one intended it to for we have little control over our fate. We can do naught but be blown along its path and face what it brings.

The hero's path is often the hardest for being a hero requires making great sacrifices. God has a way of pushing great men past their limits of endurance: his way of making them the men he requires them to be.

Tragedy can bring even the greatest of heroes to their knees; test their will to continue the fight. Somehow they find the strength to do what must be done.


	2. Chapter 1 Numb

Acre Holy Land 1193

_This has to be a nightmare. Surely God would not be so cruel as to take Marian from him when they were so close to having everything they wanted. Any moment he would wake up and everything would be as it should be. Right?_

As Robin of Locksley carried his dead wife to the grave dug in the sand the truth refused to sink in. His heart refused to believe she was gone. The concept of a world without Marian was one that his mind just could not accept.

It wasn't the first time he had taken part in burying someone in the desert. During his and Much's time here it had been a regular occurrence. He had seen so much death in his in short years. Enough to make him feel vastly older than his twenty six years.

He dealt with it now as he had so many times before. He pushed the pain deep inside. If he didn't allow himself to feel it couldn't hurt. If it didn't hurt he could pretend none of this had happened. Only by thinking that could he go on and keep his promise to her. He welcomed the hollowness letting the emptiness sooth his troubled soul.

A voice for what seemed a lifetime ago echoed to him _"If you do not feel how can you be a whole man. How can you understand what others feel?"_

_I have to be this way now, Marian. Please understand._

Robin laid her down beside the grave and stood up. He tried to control the quiver in his voice. "She should be buried at home not…" His voice trailed off as the tears clogged his throat. He swallowed hard trying to regain his composure. "I'm sorry I can't do this."

The king walked over placing a comforting hand on Robin's shoulder looking around at the grief stricken faces of the gang. "It's alright. None of you have to do this. I'll have some of my guards take care of it."

Robin nodded and walked away followed by the gang. He was eager to get away from this desolate place that had taken so much from him. He wanted to run from the demons plaguing him. Demons however live inside us and tend to follow wherever we go. The only way to conquer them is to face them.


	3. Chapter 2 Going Home

The gang had gathered their things and were ready to depart in less than an hour. They were in Bassam's house waiting on Robin.

Djaq pulled Much aside. "Do you remember how to make the sleep medicine we gave Harold?" Much nodded. "I have a feeling Robin might need it. He will need you more than ever. Do not let him destroy himself over this."

"I, well all of us, will miss you and Will. I wish you'd reconsider and come with us."

"I need this Much and we'll only be a pigeon message away if you need us."

Robin entered the room to see everyone hugging. Djaq pulled away from Much and looked at Robin silently begging for his understanding. "Robin, Will and I are…"

"You're staying." He didn't blame them for grabbing onto a chance at happiness and safety. A normal existence. He'd give anything for a chance for that but that possibility was lost forever to him now. He hugged Djaq then Will. "Take care of her."

The king walked the remaining members of the gang to the path that lead to the sea. "You've saved my life. Now go home and grieve your loss."

Robin didn't want to grieve. He wanted to believe she was alive and waiting on him. The longer he could believe that the longer he would stay sane. He feared what he might do if he acknowledged the truth. "No, your majesty. For every man there is a purpose he sets up in his life. Let yours be the doing of all good deeds." He ignored the hollowness of the words. He used to believe in them.

"Then do those deeds in my name. You are my representatives in England."

"Come on lads. Let's go home."

The men treaded cautiously around Robin on the journey home. What did one say to a man who had lost everything? Anything they could say seemed trivial in the face of what had been lost. Any feeling of joy seemed like an insult to Marian's memory so the men stayed silent each lost in their own thoughts.

Their sympathetic looks were driving Robin mad. He didn't need sympathy. He was fine. Having enough he walked over to the lads smirking. "Come on cheer up. We're almost home."

The remainder of the journey Robin laughed and acted like he always had. It was only by looking into his eyes that you could see the truth. His eyes once twinkling with mischief were dull and lifeless. He never spoke of Marian and no one else dared to afraid to push him over the edge.

Much kept a careful eye on Robin. He understood Robin better than almost anyone. Whenever something made Robin uncomfortable he pushed it aside refusing to deal with it. That's what he was doing now. He couldn't accept her death so he refused to think of it. It wasn't healthy but Much knew he couldn't force Robin to face it. He could only be there to pick up the pieces when Robin could no longer run. Much was stronger and now he would carry the burden for both of them.

The gang stood on the deck of the ship watching the coast of England coming closer. Allan grinned happily. "That's a sight for sore eyes. It's good to be home."

The word brought a pain to Robin's numbed heart. His home had always been wherever Marian was, in her arms. Marian was thousands of miles away. Marian was … Now this was just a place the same as any other. No place on earth could ever hold any joy for him ever again. He thought about how happy he was the last time he had returned from the Holy Lands. Now he was filled with dread. What a difference a few years can make.


	4. Chapter 3 Staying Busy

Robin found it was much more difficult to hide from the truth once he was back in Sherwood. Every place around camp held a memory. The brief time she had spent here had been the happiest of his life. Now everything he did reminded him of Marian. Reminded him she was gone.

The atmosphere around camp was tense. Everyone was afraid to break the fragile thread they sensed was holding Robin's sanity together. The men got used to silence their leader speaking only to give commands.

Robin still hadn't broken down and properly grieved. He was Robin Hood and he'd promised her he'd keep fighting. Heroes don't have the luxury of falling apart. Too many relied on him for that.

He slept little. Anytime he closed his eyes all he could see was her wounded, her blood seeping out onto the unforgiving desert sands. A white dress covered in blood and the sounds of her screams of agony. He was only able to sleep when he collapsed from exhaustion. When his mind was numbed enough to not be able to think anymore.

Then the nightmares woke him. The horrors of the crusades had been replaced with images of Marian fatally wounded and calling for him to save her. He had failed her. That was the hardest thing to live with. How was he supposed to save England when he couldn't even save the most important person?

The doubt and anguish threatened to suffocate him anytime his thoughts drifted to her so he stayed busy running himself and the gang down.

One morning about a month after their return the gang was fed up. Robin placed his dish in the pile and grabbed his weapons. "Come on lads. There's work to do."

Allan sighed. "I'm not being funny you'll killing us with all this work."

"We were gone a long time. The people need us."

"We can't help the people if we all collapse from overwork. We need a break."

"We cannot take a break. I cannot take a break." He had to stay busy so he wouldn't have to face the unbearable pain of losing her.

Much stepped over to Robin grabbing his shoulders and stopping his frantic movements. "Robin, you cannot keep this up. You need to take time and deal with things."

"I cannot be Robin Hood and a grieving husband, Much. We go. I want no further arguments."

Much had enough of watching Robin's health deteriorate. It was time someone forced him at face his loss. "You cannot keep doing this to yourself. How long do you think you can continue being Robin Hood when your health weakens daily? We cannot keep doing this just because you refuse to grieve." Robin shot Much a dangerous look and Allan and John started shaking their heads frantically at him sensing how close to exploding Robin was but Much stubbornly continued. "Marian is dead. She's not coming back."

Before anyone could react Robin punched Much and stalked off. Much grabbed his nose trying to stop the bleeding while John and Allan just stood there with their mouths hanging open.

"Not being funny but that was dumb thing to do Much."

"Maybe but it needed doing and I knew he wouldn't seriously hurt me like he might would one of you."

Allan looked in the direction Robin had walked in. "Do we go after him?"

John spoke having a slight understanding of what Robin was feeling now. " No. Leave him be for now."


	5. Chapter 4

When Robin stormed away from camp he really had no destination in mind just getting away from Much's cruel words. He felt wetness on his knuckles and glanced down seeing Much's blood on them. He felt regret at having lashed out when Much was really just trying to help.

Why couldn't they understand though? He couldn't think of Marian as dead. If he did he would never be able to force himself out of bed and continue to do what needed to be done. He would just fall into oblivion and cease to exist.

He had blocked memories of her because it was necessary. The truth was he was afraid to remember her and not just because he feared what he might do in his anger. She had been such a big part of him for so long. If he remembered he might also someday forget and then all that would be left of him would be a black void where his soul used to be.

He walked aimlessly through the forest not noticing he was at its edge until the castle came into view. He felt the sudden urge to see her room, to be near her in some small way. In all likelihood all her things would have been removed but desperation drove him.

He easily snuck past the guards and up to her old room. He hesitated outside the door not sure if he wanted to proceed. His heart pounded and his hand shook as he opened the door. He walked inside closing the door behind him.

The room was just as she'd left it. All her possessions were lying scattered about. It was if she had just left yesterday. He half expected her to come though the door smiling as she always did when she saw him.

He walked over to her jewelry box his hand closing around the ring he had given her. He'd been surprised she'd said yes considering the timing and how he'd asked her. Robin had never been good at expressing his feelings or sometimes even admitting them to himself. Most times he didn't have to tell her though. Somehow she always saw right through his facade to the truths he hid.

Stifling a sob he collapsed on the bed his legs no longer able to stand. The truth had finally caught up with him. He could no longer pretend. She was gone forever.

He could feel the anger rising in him. Anger at a fate that took her from him. Anger at his inability to save her. Anger at her for so willingly placing herself in danger. Anger at the duties that kept him from joining her.

Unfortunately Gisbourne chose that moment to enter the room. A red haze overcame Robin's vision. He could feel the rage overtake him. Many times in the Holy Land he had felt it: battle rage that made men unstoppable killing machines.

He had fought against its return fearing and loathing the monster that lived inside him. Now he let it have full reign only one thought on his mind: revenge.

Back at camp Much had finally managed to get his nose to stop bleeding. The men were quietly sitting around when a thought occurred to Much, "We need to find Robin."

"I'm not being funny but I think it's in our interests to leave him alone. He was pretty angry when he left here."

"Exactly. Remember how he was the last time Marian died. Knowing him he's went after Gisbourne who is at the castle with lots of guards."

"Right then. Guess we go save Robin from himself again."

Much rushed into the camp grabbing the vial of sleep medicine he had been keeping on hand. John looked at it questionably. "In case our reasoning is not enough."


	6. Chapter 5 Confrontation

In Marian's room Robin and Guy had drawn their swords. Both were intent on killing the man who had taken Marian from him.

With a roar Robin struck first. Guy barely caught the blow against his sword before it struck his face. The force knocked him backwards against the door. Hood's face just inches from his was filled with absolute hate. "I'm going to kill you. You will feel every ounce of pain you caused Marian a thousand times over."

Guy pushed Robin off and smiled his evil smile. "She got just what she deserved. She lied to me, used me to help you."

Robin struck again and Guy struck back. The two men circled each other trading blows. "She cared for you despite the times I tried to get her to see the truth. She believed there was good in you. How does it feel Gisbourne to kill the only person who had any faith in you?"

Guy charged at Robin who easily moved out of the way. The clang of steel filled the room. "She loved you when I could have given her everything."

"There are things more important than money Gisbourne and no one can choose who they love." Another blow knocked Guy back. "Her loving me was no reason to kill her."

Guy struck back knocking Robin into a table and holding him there. "I loved her and she betrayed me time and again. I risked my life to protect her."

Robin laughed bitterly. "When did you ever do anything without thought of reward?" Robin pushed Guy back and again the two circled each other. "You do not know what love is. When you love someone their happiness comes first. You destroyed her home."

"You abandoned her. I suppose if she had chosen me you would have just let her go?"

"Yes. If that was what she wanted."

"Enough of this chat Hood. Prepare to join your whore."

Robin smirked. "She was my wife." The statement caused Guy to lose his concentration and Robin took the opportunity cutting Guy across the arm causing him to drop his sword. Robin knocked Guy to the floor sword held to his throat. "Any last words, Gisbourne?"

Just then the gang burst into the room. John spoke first. "This I do not like. We are not murderers, Robin."

Robin pressed the sword against Guy's throat drawing blood delighted by the fear in his eyes. Much walked up. "She wouldn't want this"

Robin closed his eyes briefly seeing Marian dying from Guy's sword, hearing her scream of agony as she pulled the sword out. "He deserves to die."

"That is true but let it be by a trial through justice not murder."

Allan who had been at the door came into the room. "Guards are coming. We need to go now."

Robin ignored him pushing the sword deeper. Guy whimpered. John pulled Robin off Guy and Much made Robin look him in the eyes. The look in Robin's eyes was one he had seen many times and one he had hoped to never see again. "Robin, listen to me. Killing him. Getting yourself killed won't bring Marian back."

Tears ran down Robin's face. "No but it might bring me to her."

Gisbourne feeling confident with the gang controlling Robin and guards nearby couldn't resist another jab at Robin. "Face it Hood. I won"

Robin charged at Guy again but was held back by John. "I think our reasoning isn't working."

Much retrieved the medicine from his pocket. John held Robin while Allan grabbed his nose forcing Robin to open his mouth so Much could pour the stuff down. Robin came up coughing and threatening to kill them all. That was all he managed before he fell unconscious. John swung Robin over his shoulder and the gang exited the room.

As they walked out Allan couldn't resist punching Gisbourne. "Just because we saved your sorry hide today don't think you're safe. We'll make sure you pay for everything you've done." He rushed to catch up with the others. "Not being funny but dealing with Robin is worse than dealing with a tempermental toddler at times."


	7. Chapter 6 Breaking

**AN: Sorry it has taken a while to update. It's difficult to motivate myself to write this story as it is very emotionally distressing to me. I'll try to be better at updating though and thank you to everyone who is bothering to read it. **

Robin awoke several hours later to find himself tied to a tree. His head ached and whatever the lads had forced down him had left an awful taste in his mouth. He looked around and found only Much who was watching him warily.

Much walked over to Robin offering him a glass which Robin looked at suspiciously. "It's just water. If I remember correctly that stuff leaves a rather unpleasant taste."

After taking a drink Robin handed the glass back to Much. "Now untie me."

"I don't think that is a good idea, Master."

"Much, I promise I won't do anything. Just untie me."

Much knelt down looking in Robin's eyes closely. He seemed like his old self. Well not his old self but he seemed rational again. He quickly untied him them stepped away just incase Robin acted on his earlier threat.

Instead Robin walked over placing his hands on Much's shoulders. "Thank you, my friend. I don't know what I would do without you."

Much looked down embarrassed. "It's nothing, Master. Someone has to look after you."

"I made you a free man. It's time you stopped calling me master. We're equals now."

Much smiled. "Of course, Robin."

Just then Allan and John returned with some rabbits they had killed. They both eyed their leader cautiously. Robin walked over to them. "I'm sorry lads for the way I acted."

"It's alright. Not being funny but you had a reason to lose it a bit."

Robin just nodded and started walking out of the camp only to be stopped by Much's worried voice.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I just need to be alone."

The lads watched him walk off sympathy in their gazes. "Think he'll be alright?"

"In time. At least he is finally grieving"

Robin walked through the forest not really seeing his surroundings. His mind was consumed with memories.

He saw a five year old Marian looking up at him with pleading eyes begging to play with him. She ran off with tears in those same eyes when he told her girls couldn't play boy games.

He saw an eight year old chasing after him for placing a frog down her dress. When she caught him she had given him quite the beating. His father had to pull her off him. He just held his bruised face and smiled as she stormed away. He decided he quite liked her temper and from then on she was his favorite person to pick on.

He saw an eleven year old begging to shoot his bow. She had gotten angry when he laughed at the request but quickly her expression changed. She grabbed the bow from him and his face had shown shock when her shot struck the center of the target. She handed the bow back to him a smug grin on her face.

He saw a thirteen year old Marian wide-eyed with wonder after he had just kissed her for the first time. His own wildly beating heart and the giddy feeling inside him telling him what he had known all along: that she was the only girl for him.

He saw a fifteen year old smiling joyously when he asked her to marry him. He had been so nervous it was wonder he had managed to get the words out at all. A year later he watched a sixteen year old her beautiful face transitioning from shock to pain to anger as he told her he was going to the Holy Land.

Once there his constant prayer was that he would survive, that she wouldn't find someone new. The moment he saw her again looking just a beautiful and just and angry he had forgotten to breathe for a moment as realization hit him. She wasn't married. He still had a chance.

He looked up and found himself at the spot where he had proposed a second time. That seemed like a lifetime ago now. His future had looked so bright then. He had been looking forward to a time when all this would be behind them. When he could focus on Marian, spend everyday showing her how much she meant to him. Now he would never have that chance. He didn't have a future anymore. He felt the tears running down his face and didn't try to stop them as he mourned all he had lost.

He'd never again get to see the smile that she saved just for him. He'd never get to look into her blue eyes and see the love she had for him shining there. That had always made him feel weak inside yet at the same time like he could do anything. He'd never get to hold her or kiss her again. He would never know what it feels like to wake up beside her every morning. He would never see her holding their children. He never do all the things he had dreamed about with her.

He looks up to heaven talking to a God who he felt had abandoned him long ago. "Why her? She didn't deserve to die. You should have taken me. You want to punish me for all I've done wrong fine but not her. She was all that was good and true and I hate you for taking her. I hate you." He punches the tree trunk ignoring the physical pain because somehow it helps with the emotional pain that is tearing him apart. I hate you he repeats over and over hitting the tree each time he utters the phrase. Hitting it until his knuckles are bloody and his hand is numb and he is no longer sure who he hates more God for taking her, her for abandoning him or himself for failing her. He collapsed on his knees the sobs racking his body not caring about the rain that has begun to pour down on him.


	8. Chapter 7 One Day at a Time

**AN: I'm such a wus. I cried so much when writing this chapter so anyone who is easily emotionally moved might want to have tissues handy. Thanks to all of you who are bothering to read this and I hope you like where I take the story. Robin's part is almost done. Next will come Gisbourne's.**

Robin sat under the tree, their tree, for the rest of the day. The rain had lessened and was now just a slow drizzle. His clothes were soaked and night was quickly approaching but he didn't notice either. He was too lost in his memories. He could almost feel her here.

The ring was tightly clenched in his hand reminding him of a promise he had to keep, a promise he had no real desire to see through. What was the point now?

Robin noticed John walking up. The big man stood a short distance away not sure what to say to this dejected mass that was once his confident leader. "The others were worried."

Robin ignored the statement and spoke with a voice made raw with tears but avoided saying her name. He still couldn't bear to say her name. "I asked her to marry me here. We had a plan, John. Bring the King home, defeat the sheriff then get married and have a life together. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I promised her father I'd take care of her. I failed. I should have been able to save her."

John watched as the tears Robin was fighting against won and the young man sobbed against the tree. John kneeled down in front of Robin trying to comfort him as he had once done for Marian. He put his hands on Robin's shoulders drawing the young man gaze to him briefly and John was struck by how much Robin in this moment looked like a very lost little boy. He spoke quietly with the same simple conviction he always held. "Marian was her own woman. She always did what she felt was right and we all loved her for it. Things happen sometimes we have no control over." He looked down and noticed Robin's injured hand. "We should get you back to camp. It's not good to stay out in the rain in this chilly weather."

"Why, because I might catch cold and die?" Robin looked up at him with an agonized expression. "I want to die, John. I want this pain to end. I want to be with her and if that takes dying then so be it."

John didn't try to tell him everything would be alright because he knew it wasn't and never would be again. The light had been snuffed out in Robin's life. His quiet understanding made the words spill from Robin. "You understand a little don't you? It's not the same though. You know your wife is safe somewhere maybe even happy."

"Yes, but you know yours loved you. I killed any feeling Alice had for me long ago."

"I never should have left her. I went chasing glory when I had everything here. We could have had a life together. If I would have stayed here where I belonged things might be different. She wouldn't have had to fight. She deserved better."

"Robin, you can go over the what ifs a dozen times but no amount of regret will change what is."

Robin sighed knowing John was right. "She was a part of my part of my life as far back as I can remember. I've always thought I'd get to grow old with her. I don't know how to live without her or what I'm supposed to do now."

"You keep fighting like you promised her you would."

Robin met John's eyes with a hard look. "Keep fighting? Do you know how hard it is just to force myself to get up every morning and I'm to keep fighting for what? The thing I was fighting for is gone."

John nodded knowing all to well what it was like to wake up and be disappointed to find that you still breathed but that didn't change what needed to be done. "For the people. You're Robin Hood remember."

Robin laughs a harsh cynical sound that is so foreign to the man he once was. "You want to know something funny, John. I never wanted to be the people's hero. Before I left she accused me of not caring for my people so when I came back and saw what was happening I thought if I gave up everything to help the people she might forgive me. She might learn to love me again. All I ever wanted was her."

"The Robin I know, the Robin Marian loved wouldn't just quit. She would want you to finish what you both started. Otherwise the sheriff and Gisbourne win and her death will mean nothing. All the deaths will mean nothing." John notices the pain fading from Robin's eyes. It's still there but no longer controlling him at least for the moment.

"I don't know if I have the strength to finish it."

"You take it one day at a time and lean on us if you need to. We are Robin Hood remember." Robin gives him a slight smile as John helps him up. "Come on I imagine Much has supper ready and we need to tend to that hand that looks broken."

"Thank you, John."


	9. Chapter 8 A Proper Goodbye

**AN: Sorry it has taken forever to update. My dad was in the hospital and then I got a rather nasty cold. Then I lost my muse for a while but hopefully I will be able to update more regularly now. Just one more part to Robins section then we move on to Guy's. Thanks to all of you who have bothered reading this. **

When they made it back to camp the first thing Much and Allan noticed was Robin's injured hand. Allan decided to keep quiet but Much rushed over to Robin with an expression that was a mix of worry and exasperation. "Robin, what did you do? Honestly you should take better care of yourself. You may not care what happens to you but we do, a lot of people do." He ceased his tirade when Robin hung his head looking utterly broken and mumbled sorry. "Come on. Let's get you fixed up."

Robin stayed silent while Much tended his hand. He didn't even flinch when Much cleaned the cuts covering it. Much broke the silence. "You're lucky. It isn't broken but you might want to take it easy for a day or two." Much secured the bandage and leant back satisfied with his work. "There. All done. Supper is ready. You should eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Please try to eat a little for me."

Robin nodded and Much got him a bowl of the stew. Robin ate only a few bites before handing the dish back to Much. "No more, Much." He leant his head back against the camp wall. "I'm so exhausted." Robin walked over to his bunk and collapsed on it. He was asleep within minutes. The dreams came soon after.

_He found himself standing in a meadow covered with hundreds of colorful flowers. The sun shown brightly down and a slight breeze blew through the trees at the meadows edge. He could see her at the edge of the meadow. Hair blowing in the wind. The breath lodged in his throat so when he spoke her name it came out as barely more than a whisper._

_She had sensed his presence and turned to him a brilliant smile, the one she saved for him, lighting up her face. She spoke his name and there was so much love in that single word that it almost brought him to his knees. _

_In the next instant she was in his arms with kisses that seemed to go on forever. When they finally broke apart an eternity later her hands were lovingly caressing his cheeks while his where buried in her soft curls. "I've missed you so much, Robin."_

"_I've missed you too, my love." His smile disappeared as reality intruded. "This is just a dream though isn't it?" She nodded and he stepped away from her. When he turned back tears were in his eyes. "Why did you have to leave me?"_

_She walked over to him forcing him to look into her eyes. "I will never leave you." She kissed him again and he reveled in the feel of her. If dreams were all he could have then he'd take it. _

_Later they lay curled together in the grass holding each other as tightly as possible. Marian pulled out of his arms and stood. "You need to go, darling. You have work to do"_

_Robin stood and caressed her cheek taking as much of her in as possible. "I don't want to. I want to stay with you."_

"_We will be together soon. I promise. I love you."_

"_I love you too." Their lips met in a tender kiss. _

Robin awoke to find camp bathed in sunlight. He felt more rested than he had in months. He breathed a shaky breath. Just a dream. He would give anything for it to be more.

He walked outside to find the lads all acting very suspiciously. "What are you lads up to?"

Much spoke. "We have a surprise for you if you would follow us."

Robin followed until he started to figure out where they were going and hesitated. "Why there"

Allan smirked. "Trust us okay."

When they reached the tree Robin saw that the lads had put up a cross. He turned to them stunned into speechlessness.

The lads shuffled their feet nervously. This time Allan spoke. "It's not as good as Will could do but we never really properly said goodbye to her. And since you can't very well go to the Holy Land to be near her we thought you could be here. It can be your special place when you need to be alone."

Robin nodded his thanks.

John started the fire that had been set up. "We got some of her things from the castle. We thought you might want to keep them."

Allan stepped to the fire first placing her sword into the fire. For once the teasing was gone from his voice and he was all seriousness trying and failing to contain his tears for his friend and one of the few people he could say he genuinely respected. "You know she could be right scary when she chose to be but she was one hell of a woman."

Much went next placing a single rose in the fire. His voice choked with tears for the girl he had grown up with and the wonderful woman she had become. "She was the kindest, most caring person I've ever known."

John had tears in his eyes for the lass that had been like a daughter to him but was as usual a man of few words saying only "Her we'll miss."

Robin swallowed hard trying to keep his tears at bay. "She was perfect. She made me a better man"

John motioned with a jerk of his head for the others to return to camp which they did. John walked over placing a comforting hand on Robin's shoulder. "She'll never really be gone. She'll always be with you in here." He pointed to his heart.

"I know, John. Still doesn't make it any easier."

John nodded in understanding before heading back to camp himself and leaving Robin to his grief and memories.


	10. Chapter 9 Confrontation 2

Live had returned to somewhat of a normal pattern in Sherwood. They took care of the poor and thwarted Vaysey's schemes as always but Robin wasn't Robin anymore.

On this day the gang where scouting the forest for easy pickings when they heard voices in the distance. Creeping towards the sound they found Gisbourne and a handful of guards attempting to get a wagon unstuck from the mud. A wagon that was full of silver for Prince John.

Robin turned to the lads a small smile gracing his face. "Well lads, looks like it's our lucky day."

The gang spread out surrounding the guards before Robin loosed and arrow that landed inches from Gisbourne's head.

Gisbourne spun around sword ready. "Show yourself, Hood."

Robin and the gang emerged from the woods and a fierce fight broke out. The gang quickly had the upper hand knocking out the guards and looked over to see Robin knock an disarmed Gisbourne to the ground sword pointed at his throat.

Guy didn't flinch this time. Instead he looked ready to die almost begging for it. "Go ahead. Kill me Hood. Have your revenge."

Robin shook his head. "She wouldn't want me to do that." A smirk appeared having realized the perfect way to torment Gisbourne. "Besides it's a far more fitting punishment to let you live so you can think everyday how you took the life of someone who didn't deserve it. I pray you live a long life." Guy's face dropped. "Run back to your master."

The lads returned to camp celebrating their haul. This much would feed hungry mouths for a long time. Their smiles dropped as Robin walked off in the direction of their tree. He did his job but the moment he wasn't needed all life seemed to drain from him and he retreated to the woods.


	11. Epilogue

**AN: This concludes Robin's story. Thanks to all who have read it and keep a watch out for Redemption Lost which will delve into Gisbourne's past and his attempts to come to terms with his actions. **

The jokes and laughter have returned to the outlaw's camp. New men have joined them. Men with hope of a better England where good people aren't forced to lie, and cheat, and steal or die for doing the right thing.

The new come to follow a legend not knowing or caring about the man he once was. Robin Hood is simply their savior, the spirit of England, the county's only hope.

The old, who remember the man before cruel fate stole his soul, the man with the fierce ideals and cocky grin, watch their leader closely always ready to step up when his fight seems too long. To be there when the savior needs saving.

If he prefers to sit by himself lost in memories they are content to let him be. He does his job. They can even manage on rare occasion to get a small smile from him and they know he will be alright. It is enough.

Robin Hood keeps watch over Nottingham now. He has finally grown up and grown cynical. He no longer views King Richard as some superhuman who would save them all. He is only a man the same as any other and when, if, he returns the poor will still need help. The fight must continue on. Hood knows the people can betray him, that even friends can.

Robin of Locksley is dead, buried in unforgiving desert sands with his wife. He has no desire to reclaim Locksley now. Without her beauty to light its interior it's just a place as dark and cold as any other. The forest is his home now and will remain so until his fight is over.

He is truly Robin Hood now: an ideal, a cause. Her cause and he will not let her down even though the temptation to end it all is sometimes overwhelming. He relies on the gang to get him through those moments of weakness. They remind him of a promise made and that he must keep and he finds the strength to be patient. He'll be with her again someday. For now he has a job to finish.

With every victory he can feel her smiling down on him. Sometimes he swears he can see her. Her name is never spoken but she's always in his heart and thoughts still as much a part of him as the air he breathes. He knows she's still with him, that she'll always be with him and that urges him on.

In dreams he lives the life fate has denied him only to wake to feel the same aching emptiness. He knows it will not go away until he is allowed to join her. This is his path now. He's accepted that and can only hope death comes sooner rather than later.

The breeze kicks up strongly stirring the leaves around their tree and he smiles. "I'm going, my love." He kisses the ring he wears with his tag before heading back to camp. There is work to do and heaven and Marian are waiting. It is enough.


End file.
